Yash Goyal
There is a famous quote which reads, "You are the average of the five people you talk to the most". Another goes like, "Our choices speak volumes about who we are".
With the beginning of college life comes one of the most exciting phases of our lives. The freedom we experience relieves us from the destructive judgements that could be met at home from our family.
Here is the stage in our lives that the (un)pleasant transition from adolescence to adulthood begins to weigh upon us. It is a time when we ought to take ownership of everything that we consciously or unconsciously sign up for.
At Least that is what THEY SAY.
They are not wrong but there is a growing urge to judge negatively than be constructive in situations of drinking at parties, smoking up and indulging in drugs.
Not at all supportive to activities risking life, but moreover, against widespread character judgements made.
Now that most colleges have had episodes of binge-drinking and smoking, people have become less harsh in judging others due to how commonplace it is. But, indulgence in stimulants, assuming them to be legal, does not make you less human.
It is also extremely important to factor in gender in this context. Pardoning males for the consumption of psychoactive substances and trashing on women for doing the same is the perpetuation of age-old misogynistic notions and absolutely WRONG.
There is also a counter-situation of people being judged when they choose to stay far from addictive substances.
More than the urge to fit into the social fabric of college to be perceived "cooler", one must be a hundred percent sure before deciding to drink or smoke.
Being overpowered from peer pressure in such situations while remaining reluctant to indulge, is extremely dangerous as they connote sheer gullibility and lack of control.
One needs to always stay strong to REFUSE whenever there is lack of a drive to consume any sort of stimulant.
Only indulge when the people accompanying you are trustworthy, yet never indulge half-heartedly regardless whether you trust people around you.
In context of signing up for extra-curricular activities also, just do not give into peer pressure. Stick to your passions, or cultivate them on your own. If you love cricket but hate football, don't just run after your friends playing football, but actively pursue cricket and ditch football, when that is what you REALLY want to do.
Saying NO loud and clear does not make you "uncool", "prudish", "spoilsport" or a "snowflake".
Having such toxic people around you can be disturbing especially if foisted by friends, alike.
Do approach your peer mentor or other non-judgemental friends who you think would be on your side, supporting you in your case whenever you feel the need to speak your mind and get over a scarring experience that is hurting you deeply.
It is best to avoid going out with those friends of yours with whom you had such experiences, but it is also wise not to turn your back on such people in a different context, especially if they turn out to be your colleagues for a project or whenever you run into them on campus.
This is because you would spend 3-4 years in the same college consisting of the same people and hostility playing out between both parties will only aggravate mental health issues for you.
Hence, it is best that you go after what is best for you, and still maintain good relations with everyone in college.